Box Defense 101 with Professor Slow Mo Cat (3/24/15)

Emily often finds that, while she is luxuriating in one of her many box-fortresses, rampaging Vandals (aka The Rainbow Snake) will mount an all out arial assault on her. This has lead to her perfecting several techniques of box defense, five of which she has outlines in her latest lesson "Box Defense 101 with Professor Slow Mo Cat. The full Slow Mo Cat course on box defense, is available wherever imaginary items are sold b/c it does not exist...yet.

1. The Corner Strike. When her enemy is coming at her and has caught her by surprise, Emily knows the best option is to make a quick, but firm, response. The Corner Strike allows that. With minimal effort and little warning, Emily responds to The Rainbow Snakes initial advance with a hard-hitting, if ultimately ineffective effort. Now the attacker knows she is ready.

2. Full Strike. Now that she is wise to the attack, Emily makes a full strike. Like Roger Federer charging the net for a scintillating backhand smash put away, she holds back her paw and BLAMO a thunderous smash is heard throughout "the land" (what she calls her box) and The Rainbow Snake is fully warned that she is not a cat to be messed with.

3. Open-Mouthed-Full-Leaping-Two-Handed-Swat-Strike. With the grace of an eight footed ballerina and the ferocity of a thousand mouthed dragon, Emily emerges from her box striking with every weapon she has. The Rainbow Snake has no recourse but to succumb when, at the apex of her strike, Emily grips with her claws and, somehow maintaining her balance, brings her prey to the ground.

4. Half-Effort-Superiority-Strike. Chastened by the previous move, The Rainbow Snake tries one last time to get into the box. Emily deftly utilizes the Half-Effort-Superiority-Strike to great effect. This move is akin to the punch Ali never gave Foreman -- it lets The Rainbow Snake know just how in control Emily is, and how little chance for any comeback there is.

5. BAM! Just to make double sure that the box is safe, Emily lays the hurt on.