Fast Friday 3: The Search for a Perfect Perch (3/6/15)

Every cat has her quest. The one goal that lights the competitive fire deep within her tiny body. For Emily, as for many of her feline compatriots, that quest is "The Search for the Perfect Perch." In this installment of Fast Friday, we see her try out not one but TWO potential spots both vying for the title of Best Perch Ever. Neither quite fills the bill, but both had their share of admirable qualities.

Emily has been systematic in her investigation. Like the great detectives of old, she approaches her mission gravely, marshaling all of her formidable brain power. First, she has divided her world into categories and devotes her time to examining each in turn. She has: Floor, Elevated, Item, and Soft. Today she investigated two distinct spots: Floor, Area-Near-but-Not-Quite-Directly-In-Front-of-the-Door-and-Kind-of-in-the-Archway; and Item, Scratchy-Thing-Made-of-Cardboard-Next-to-Sideways-Box. The final verdict is evident in the video record of her investigation, but, after an interview with the floor and item tester, here is a written summary of Emily's quasi-verbal report on the two areas:

Floor, Area-Near-but-Not-Quite-Directly-In-Front-of-the-Door-and-Kind-of-in-the-Archway:

Emily says: A perfectly serviceable spot to sit, think, look at stuff, and occasionally meow for no reason. It is centrally located, but not logically placed for any activities so as to cause the maximum amount of confusion as to why I am doing anything there. I can do literally anything while I sit in this spot and everyone will be all like, "Yo, what's up with her? or "Why is she doing that?" or "What can she see that I can't?" or  "What does she know?" or "Do you thing that means a storm is coming because I heard that cats are very sensitive to barometric pressure and, like, maybe that's why she is doing that." or "Do you think it might be a full moon? I hear that cats are super sensitive to the earth's gravity or something." Final verdict, on a scale of A to 10 with three paw prints being the highest, I give this spot two whiskers. Good for sowing the seeds of confusion, but not a perfect perch.

Item, Scratchy-Thing-Made-of-Cardboard-Next-to-Sideways-Box:

Emily says: Well, this one was a little more what I had in mind. I can sit on it comfortable, I can do activities (aka scratch and scratch and scratch until I reach it's little cardboard devil heart!), and I can look at things. These are some of my favorite things to do. However, there are a few drawbacks. 1) If I vomit on it, it is almost impossible to clean and it will probably be thrown out like all of the paper in my big box. IT WAS JUST A LITTLE BIT OF VOMIT GUYS NO NEED TO ENACT THE NUCLEAR OPTION. Sorry, where was I? Oh, yes. I can't throw up on it, and that is another one my, well, I won't say favorite activities, but it is definitely one of my activities so the perfect perch has to have some vomit options. I guess I could lean over the edge of Item, Scratchy-Thing-Made-of-Cardboard-Next-to-Sideways-Box, but what am I some kind of neophyte sailor from the 1760's on choppy seas? I don't lean over things to vomit. I do it where and when I want. Ba-BAM. The final strike against this item is that cardboard is great for scratching and not actively unpleasant to sit on, but in the end, blankets, chairs, ottomans, couches -- these are all better padded perch options. Again, on a scale of 1 to 500 with 10 being the highest, I give this one 5 paw prints. Better than Floor, Area-Near-but-Not-Quite-Directly-In-Front-of-the-Door-and-Kind-of-in-the-Archway but far from the perfect perch. THE HUNT CONTINUES!!!

Full video of today's investigations: