Fast Friday 7: Battle Royale (4/3/15)

There have been many great battles in history. The battle of Stalingrad. The battle of the Bulge. The battle of the Little Big Horn. The battle between Dumbledore and Grindelwald. Today, a great battle raged: the battle between Emily and The Rainbow Snake for dominion over The Ottoman. Our reporter on the ground captured rare time-lapse footage that encompassed the entire encounter.

As the battle begins, The Rainbow Snake launches a vicious series of arial assaults hoping to batter down Emily's defenses. Not to be outdone, Emily counters with equally deadly claw strikes, and defensive blocks. Finally grabbing the upper hand, she presses her advantage until The Rainbow Snake has no choice but to back down. Here are what three eyewitness had to say.

Eyewitness 1: I have never seen such action in my life! One second the snake thing was coming at her, the next she had grabbed it and was shaking it like crazy. I don't know how she did it. Truly amazing.

Eyewitness 2: What can I say? I think the outcome speaks for itself. Quite the display of skills on both sides, but it was pretty clear who the greater champion was.

Eyewitness 3: I didn't see anything. I don't know who told you I saw something, but that person was lying. Maybe they saw something? I don't know. All I know is snitches get stitches.


Full video of The Battle of the Ottoman: