Keeping Clean 101 with Professor Slow Mo Cat (4/7/15)

A morning routine is important. We all have those certain things we do: making tea/coffee, taking a shower, running around the house like something CRAZY is happening (okay, maybe that's just Emily aka the Slow Mo Cat). For Emily, the morning is a time to clean. No, I am not talking about taking a tiny broom in her kitty paws and going around the house sweeping up the fur she dropped yesterday though, yes, you're right that is an adorable image and would be super handy because then I would not have  to do it. I am talking about cleaning herself. Emily is a fastidious creature. While she is not afraid of a little dirt and loves to go exploring whatever the terrain/weather conditions, she also values a warm place to lay her head and a good clean coat of UNBELIEVABLY SOFT fur.

Having already informed us of how to defend our boxes, today Emily, my opalescent tree-shark, takes it upon herself to show us how she keeps clean. These are instructions for a common, everyday, cursory cleaning. This is not meant to be substituted for a full, thorough cleaning. This one will get you through the work week, on the weekend, you need a full-body shower/cleansing.

1. Get comfy. Find the fluffiest, warmest, most invitingly confortable blanket and take up residents on it. Really wiggle your butt into it and get cozy.

2. Start licking your hands and arms. This is the best place to start because these are often the dirtiest areas. They are out there doing the hard work while other parts of your body just sit around getting taken places by them. The arms are like, "I will carry you!" and the stomach is like, "okay." That's how the body moves.

3. Take one of the hands you are licking and begin passing it over your head and face. This will bring the cleaning power of your own saliva to the other area that is regularly coming into contact with the dirty, dirty world.

And presto! You're done. Ready for another day cattin' about. So you can see what this three step process looks like in person, here is the full video of Emily going through the steps: